Feelings Lead Us By Design
✋ "DON'T BE LED BY YOUR FEELINGS" - Blah blah blah.
Here’s the thing. Our feelings drive our actions.
By design, feelings lead us. 🚙
So when people say, “don’t be led by your emotions” it’s well-intended, but feelings are entirely misunderstood. They’ve had a bad rap.
If we don’t want to take those actions, we need to feel different things.
And how do we feel different things? By thinking and believing different thoughts. 💬
But wait a second, I thought my feelings are random and dictated by my circumstances?
🙁 My kids are screaming, therefore I feel overwhelmed. When I’m overwhelmed I yell at the kids.
😡 My husband is home late again and therefore I’m feeling neglected. When I’m feeling neglected I withdraw and act passive aggressive toward him.
🙁 My boss said some critical things to me about my work and therefore I’m feeling unappreciated. When I’m feeling unappreciated I get snappy and sarcastic.
Not so dear friends. Au contraire.
When my kids are screaming I think, “why does this never end?!” and I feel overwhelmed. My action of yelling came from my feeling. My feeling came from my thought.
When my husband comes home late again I think, “he clearly doesn’t care about us!” and I feel neglected. My action of withdrawing came from my feeling neglected. And my feeling came from my thought.
When my boss says critical things to me about my work I think, “he’s totally ignoring all the good things I’ve done” and I feel unappreciated. My action of getting snappy and sarcastic came from my feeling unappreciated. And my feeling came from my thought.
We ARE led by our feelings, but we can also FOCUS our feelings by FOCUSING our thoughts.
Resisting your own feelings and acting against them is called using willpower…and there are numerous studies that conclusively say that while willpower is effective short-term, it depletes your energy and abilities. And then it is exhausted and you’re back to doing the thing you don’t want to do.
What you REALLY want to do is LEAD your emotions.
Think intentionally. 💪
Create the emotions you want, to create the desired result you want.
Are you resisting the urge to people-please? “I don’t want to be part of this event, but they really need my help and if I don’t they’ll be upset with me.” These thoughts make you feel guilty and obligated.
That creates a mess inside you. You do the event, but feel awful. You may have made them happy but made yourself miserable because you weren’t taking the action from a place of authenticity. It was from guilt and obligation.
What if, instead, you decided to think, “I don’t want to be part of this event. I’ll politely decline this time around. They may be disappointed but that’s ok.” That action of declining the event will be taken because you’re feeling confident.
Or you could think, “What would I need to think in order to be excited about the event? I don’t feel like participating right now, but I’ll regret it if I don’t. Perhaps I can think, “Participating in this event will allow me to connect with people I love and also support a cause I truly love.” That thought will make me feel excited about the event, and I’ll look forward to it with anticipation."
Which has a better result? Feeling guilt and obligation? Or confidence and/or anticipation?
Our feelings are our responsibility. Lead them intentionally to get your desired result. 💡
Life is magical when you finally take responsibility for your feelings and start living authentically. 🎉🎉🎉
What are the top 3 feelings you feel on a regular basis? Are they creating your desired results?? ❓❔❓